Tin foil hat time.

As a writer I’m always theorizing and coming up with stupid shit and extrapolating beyond the norms to consider plots from disparate elements and I see stories everywhere I go. Sometimes they sound like the manifestations of a conspiracy theorist. One such plot goes like this:


The Election 2020. The country is divided nearly in half. Amazingly the senile grandfather got over 51% of the highest voter turnout in history while the lunatic grandfather got the short straw. However due to Coronavirus, a massive turn out for mail in ballots delayed the count for several days and in that time, before the election was even called, the lunatic started calls of fraud. The media which has never been fair to the Lunatic – due to his general lunacy – brands these claims as baseless and false. A pure sore loser in the making. Senile of course says this is ridiculous and waves off the accusations of fraud. Why would he need to commit fraud? He has slightly more than half of the voting public on his side.

Lunatic doesn’t relent, he starts lawsuits and demands recounts and more which is uniformly rejected or ignored or seen as excessive and pointless. But they push all the same. Why? Because lunatic is crazy at the thought of defeat? Surely senile is too poor witted to have really committed fraud. It seems very out of character for him. However, winning at all costs and destroying your opponent is exactly in the wheelhouse for the lunatic. Even when losing is a likelihood bordering on inevitability.

So imagine if you will the shock when weeks later as we bear down onto the most lackluster and quiet Christmas in recent memory and suddenly evidence of fraud is miraculously discovered and poor senile is branded a fraud – his integrity immediately called into question and despite all pleas of innocence, the public eye turns on senile and his box ticking VP and once again, America is in turmoil. The media begrudgingly follow the evidence; proof after proof of more and more fraud. This was a stolen election. The world stands in shock, mouths agape. The lunatic was right.

But of course he was. He is the one crazy enough to commit fraud against himself. Seeing the potential outcomes and knowing the divide is neither a red nor blue wave, but rather an even share. Being a hated, despised and routinely ridiculed lunatic, he couldn’t exactly “turn himself around” and start speaking more politically or even politely, he couldn’t suddenly start to believe science on climate change. He couldn’t suddenly stop backing big business. So he leveraged his lunatic status and cried wolf – knowing fine well his team had planted the wolf. Knowing fine well no one would believe him. Knowing fine well he is a lunatic. Bat shit crazy. Like a fox.

And as history is written by the winners and not the losers. With this fraud hidden in plain sight and with no clear way of disproving senile’s guilt. His enemy not only defeated but any who stand in line to challenge also tarnished, democracy itself is mortally wounded. And now we stand with tears in our eyes and fear in our hearts as we chant our new anthem.

Four more years.

Four more years.

Four more years.

One Reply to “Tin foil hat time.”

  1. It’s an interesting theory. I will agree that Senile’s VP is the most box ticking VP I’ve ever seen, you couldn’t ask for a more politically correct candidate – it’s only a shame they didn’t let HER run for Presidency. But then, of course, she’d never win. So they have to sneak things through.

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